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  • Writer's pictureMr. Jamoke

Arrogant and Clueless

Nobody had the guts (including myself) to ask the obvious question: “Does this affect me in any way?” Everybody knows the answer is “no”, yet we are sitting around listening to company royalty discuss their palace game of musical chairs.

The CEO recently announced a “significant” organizational restructuring and we’ve been mandated to attend multiple webinars and meetings to learn more and ask questions about it. Division X will now be merged with Division Y. Some guy I’ve never heard of will no longer run the west region, he’ll run all of North America. Some gal I’ve never heard of that’s 5 levels above me will now report to some guy I’ve never heard of that’s 6 levels above me vs. the dude she used to report to. I don’t give a scintilla of a crap about any of this. Luckily, I was able to maintain my sanity throughout the meeting by going down memory lane: When was the last time I was this uninterested in a discussion? Oh yes, I had an employee many years ago that would come into my office twice a week to talk about his World of Warcraft conquests. Even those stories were riveting compared to this shit.

Every freaking time! Every freaking time a new CEO comes into a company they do an organizational restructuring. The really dumb (I’m sorry, “bold”, “visionary” – whatever you want to tell Wall Street, chief) ones promptly acquire a new company. These upper management types suffer from a corporate Napoleon complex and have been reading too much Harvard Business Review. They feel the need to immediately make a “big” move and show everyone they mean business otherwise they won’t be taken seriously. The social life equivalent of this would be walking into a house party and immediately screaming at the top of your lungs or grabbing a vase and smashing it against the floor. Wow! You sure shook things up, boss. But was it a “bold and visionary move” or the actions of a likely lunatic?

Let’s ignore the fact than an organizational re-alignment is the most chickenshit move possible and focus on what really matters. I am a mid-level grunt. I am a doer and my job will stay exactly the same. Nobody is even pretending that that isn’t the case yet they’re mandating that me and all the other peasants pay close attention to the latest palace intrigue. Corporate narcissism, plain and simple. The Baron of Sales will now be aligned to the Duke of Revenue as opposed to the Earl of Operations --- nobody gives a shit! I’m still working the land and trying to save up for a new mule next year. Have fun grabass’n in the castle you pricks! Wake me up if you get drunk and decide to throw some extra crumbs at us.

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