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  • Writer's pictureMr. Jamoke

Feelings?

There is a guy at the Hotel Bar sitting about 5 feet away from me right now. He looks like a man, he is dressed like a man, yet, for some reason, he is talking about his feelings. I keep overhearing words like “vulnerable”, “unsatisfied”, “overwhelmed”, etc. Mind you, this ‘man’ is probably in his late 30s. I’m sitting here drinking my whiskey neat and trying to read some final work documents and this damn sissy is making it impossible to do so.


Let me tell you something about feelings. If you’re an adult male over the age of 25 (except for the rarest and most consequential of life’s moments) your emotional spectrum should span no further than slightly irritated to slightly excited. I myself have about two real “feelings” a decade and I’m damn proud of it. In life there are facts, processes, events, problems and luckily solutions. Feelings are noise, feelings are distraction, they are superfluous. Feelings don’t solve problems; they only impede progress towards solutions.


You “feel like your kids don’t listen to you?” Newsflash chief, they either do or they don’t. They’re either demanding bigger allowances and screaming “Shut up DAD!” or they respect you and behave. Analyze the set of events that got you where you are and determine what process you’ll follow to improve the situation.


You “feel underappreciated at work”!? Is the foreman supposed to give the bricklayer a hug after each brick he lays down? Am I supposed to come by your desk and thank you for coming into work each day? Work sucks and you’re under contract – you get “appreciated” twice a month.

This herbivore needs to sack up. Your job as a 30+ year old man is to provide and protect for yourself, your family and build towards the future you want. You grab your morning coffee, go to work, provide, come home and tend to those that need you. The time and place to be selfish and explore your feelings ended in college.

Our boy didn’t get this memo and now he’s torturing everyone around him with his emotions. He probably believes that talking about his feelings will help him resolve them………. Nobody wants to hear about your feelings, brah. Kids have school guidance counselors and adults have psychiatrists; note the fact that both get paid to “listen”. The newest fads are these subscription tele-counseling services. Pay $150 bucks a month and you can have unlimited chats with a “counselor”. It’s quite an impressive scheme: The same guy in India who troubleshoots your Windows Login issues in the morning gets to help you through the emotional damages stemming from this matter 8 hours later. No need for additional training as the job is exactly the same except for swapping in the word “life” in place of “computer”. Wussy Willy rambles on about his issue while Anish plays first person shooter games on the other end of the line. Thirty minutes later: “Did you try restarting your _____, sir?

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