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  • Writer's pictureMr. Jamoke

Dear Leadership,

You continue to amaze me:

1) Why are you always re-orging? Always. Some overpaid, fancy-titled imposter comes in and immediately declares that he or she will have to initiate a company reorganization. This reorganization takes at least 6-9 months for no apparent reason. 6-9 months during which everybody’s hands are tied because we are awaiting the new crop of imposters to get hired and formally set a strategy and/or approve various initiatives. 6-9 months during which the company is floundering. The re-org itself is always disappointing. When it is finally completed, the original asshole is fired and we have to go through the same thing again with the next charlatan. Well done. You made $1.5 Million in 10 months between your salary and equity compensation, then you fucked off achieving nothing. The merry-go-round continues

2) How can you talk with such conviction without knowing jack shit? My presentations are routinely hijacked 30 seconds in by a C-level person who opines on a matter without understanding it. Like trained seals, the VP-level sycophants immediately chime in with their irrelevant past experience so as to not be exposed for the empty suits they are. Fifteen minutes in I have to cut these people off and tell them what the issues at hand ACTUALLY ARE.

3) Why is there never any follow-through? Zero. As the operations guy, I am the one who has to expose them. Fluffy meetings are held during which a “comprehensive and wide-reaching” strategy is laid out. Upon conclusion of this new “strategy”, everyone metaphorically strokes each other’s micro-penises and then moves on to waste someone else’s time. Three weeks later, when I come back to leadership with process flows, cost estimates, bandwidth concerns, a web of interdependencies….. all these leaders backtrack. “Well, ya, maybe, I suppose we should push this to next year.”…. Total amateurs. There is nothing easier in this world than opining at a 10,000-foot level and then routinely crumbling when it comes to execution.

4) Do you think this is a fraternity? There seems to be little to no interest in hiring doers. The C-level is constantly positioning their unqualified cronies into cushy VP-level jobs while neglecting the importance of actual output. More overpaid philosophers who also won’t do shit other than drain our Opex. How delightfully socialist.

I can take no more of this. It is time for a change. My entire life I have approached my colleagues and my corporate, hierarchical superiors with respect, patience and even deference. No more. I am getting too long in the tooth and you all are getting too fucking stupid. My comments these days are blunt and borderline insulting:

1) “I am sorry to interrupt, but that is not at all what we’re talking about here.”

2) “Let me jump in with some of the research I’ve conducted…. I think that will eliminate the need for superfluous conversation.”

3) “I, candidly, don’t believe in our ability to execute this strategy. We are understaffed and don’t even do the basics right.”

4) “Last year we completely failed in this effort, what makes you think this year will be different?”

5) “I think we need to hire more doers and less leadership positions.”

6) “What’s his role again? I thought he was our Chief Counsel, now he is our Chief Strategy Officer. Those seem likely very divergent skillsets.

7) “I see virtually no value in doing this. What I do see is substantial risk, operational strain and cost.”

8) “This is the second year in a row that we are entering the year without a clearly defined strategy. I am mystified as to how leadership can allow this to happen.”

This is not my George Costanza moment where I start doing the exact opposite of my original instincts cause all of my instincts have failed. No. This is my complete lack of respect for our effete, feckless, business elites breaking through the dam. Rage that can no longer be restrained.

I will not spend another minute listening to bullshit from idiots who know little and achieve even less. I will treat you like the piece of shit and charlatan that you are because you deserve it. About 5% of our corporate elite truly are incredibly impressive, diligent people (some of them shockingly read this blog). The other 95% are assholes who have followed the “fake it until you make it” approach; undetected by the other empty suits because they too don’t know the difference and have employed the same approach. Unlike you though, I have neither faked it nor have I (much to my chagrin) made it. If you’re a pretender in a high position, that should scare you. I’m dangerous, lurking in your blind-spot, and have nothing to lose.

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